Do you learn from PAIN or PLEASURE in a Relationship

In today’s episode of God, Sex, and Money, Raul and Vivian talk about the importance of knowing why you want to either start a marriage or a business, and making sure if it’s for the right reasons. Finding the good in all the pain you experience in life and praying to become a stronger person in life. Raul and Vivian speak from experiences, not to tell you what to do, and hope you take awareness from the topics they mention.


Topic: Why do you want to start a business or marriage? Pain is strength.

  • (4:35) Why do you want to be an entrepreneur? If it’s because you want more freedom, or you want to be your own boss it’s the wrong reason. In reality you won’t have freedom you have to invest money and all of your time. If you don’t have the right mindset going into the business, and journey of being an entrepreneur you will fail.
  • (5:22) People think your marriage will change for the better, you think you’ll have more time for each other. But it won’t you have to realize how much time and work it will take.
  • (5:44) Business is not a fairytale, a glamorous lifestyle isn’t always reality.
    When you go from an expensive lifestyle to something you’re not used to it causes a mental shift.
  • (6:03) Losing all your money as an entrepreneur is not uncommon. If you make the money as an entrepreneur it always goes up and down the market shifts, you take risks, and if you don’t have the stomach or wisdom for it you’ll fail.
  • (6:38) When men lose in business they beat themselves up, and when they go home and your partner beats you down it hurts your ego. It kills your relationships, health, and self-esteem.
  • (7:40) When you’re in a relationship and you lose money your partner isn’t waiting for the money to comeback, they’re waiting for you and your purpose to be fulfilled. It can’t be just about the money.
  • (8:07) Why should you get married? Marrying an entrepreneur a lot of times is seen with different expectations. You get married to someone because you love the person. Same thing with a business you start it because it’s your livelihood something you enjoy and your purpose.
  • (8:47) Find a business that makes you happy and gets you excited to wake up. If it drains you and you aren’t excited to wake up and go you have to shift your dreams and find your purpose.
  • (9:30) A happy marriage is far from a fairytale a lot of people have the wrong expectations about it. How do you shift and get excited to wake up to the same person every day?
    • Everyday you find something new to love in the other person and continue to grow in your relationship. Find the beauty in your partner.
  • (10:38) You start a business because you are fighting for freedom not because it’s going to give you freedom. You marry someone because you can’t live without the person not because you expect them to make you happy.
  • (11:17) When you have high expectations you end up feeling like you can’t handle what’s been given to you.
  • (11:47) Don’t make marriage so complicated, don’t have high expectations. Give everything you have and expect nothing. It’s so simple to have good communication and get a long.
  • (13:15) When someone brings more pain than pleasure sometimes you can’t stick around. A lot of people don’t know whether it’s something that’s worth sticking around for. How do you know if after the pain it will get better?
    • A lot of people deal with the pain they get accustomed because it’s not as bad.
    • After not being able to deal with it anymore you have to go out and seek help. Fix it and find the root of it then things will change.
  • (14:55) Talk to your partner either in business or marriage, if they can’t take the pain anymore or you can’t tolerate it anymore communicate with them look for change. Let them know if you aren’t happy anymore, and if you think there is a chance it’ll work you need to be clear on what you need.  
  • (15:52) People pray for God to make the path easier and to have him mold the path, or give you instructions on what to do. Don’t pray for life to get easier but pray to get stronger. Raul realized he was asking for something that he was not ready to receive. If you don’t have the capacity to handle situations you won’t succeed.
  • (17:05) Don’t ask for more, ask for strength to manage what you have. If you can’t handle what you have right now how can you handle more? Having pain helps you expand so many lessons come from pain.
  • (17:44) Find other ways to communicate instead of yelling or hurting each other. Find other ways to speak to your partner.
  • (18:10) Consume more knowledge on what you need help in. Tolerate the pain until you cant anymore, find help if you need it.
  • (18:45) Spend time and money in your relationship or even on your health. How much time are you investing into the people you love?
  • (19:06) Pain is a gift use your pain as fuel. There is a gift behind pain you won’t see it in the moment because it’s hurting you but it will be there.
  • (21:13) When things happen you think about the worst case scenarios but you need to realize that grace saves you from those worse scenarios. The gift is to realize that we aren’t promised tomorrow.
  • (21:55) There is always a gift if you get away from the negative and if you can look with a grateful heart and step away from the negativity you’ll see it.
  • (22:11) First thing to take away is know why you’re starting a business or a marriage and know its not going to be easy it’s going to take time, money, and effort for things to be able to work. Secondly, stop praying for things to be easier, start to pray for you to become stronger. Nothing that is worth while is ever easy.
  • (22:44) Lastly ask yourself what the gift is behind the pain? If you’re looking for what’s wrong in life you’ll get it, but ask yourself whats right, what’s the blessing or gift. What is God protecting you from what is his grace saving you from? Take the time to give God the glory or whoever you believe in and everything else will fall into place.


Raul Villacis is a family man, entrepreneur, investor and mentor to fellow entrepreneurs.  He is the founder and driving force behind the Next Level Experience. He has designed a system that helps men get The EDGE back in their lives.  Through his program, they find clarity and achieve balance in their personal and professional lives. He is also a sought-after public speaker, owns his own real estate company, has held over 20 Next Level Boot Camps and has created the Inner Circle, an elite network that fosters connection and accountability amongst successful businessmen.  

Raul and his wife Vivian Villacis host the God, Money & Sex  podcast, a business and relationship focused discussion forum that shares insights into what it takes to be a successful businessman while maintaining balance in your intimate relationships.  You can have it all and Raul is the man who can help make it happen for you.

Make sure you stay tuned to this YouTube channel as Raul and his guests discuss key topics about God Money & Sex.

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2018-11-21T17:42:51-04:00September 26th, 2018|