Very few people will ever understand the pressure that men feel when they are leading. They have no idea how leaders continue to keep going against all odds. Just because you make it look easy doesn’t mean that it is. Just because you are holding it together does not mean you know how to deal with the pressure that comes with being an entrepreneur.

A leader pays the price daily and is happy to do it. Because they know they’re going to figure shit out eventually. There is a price to pay every day for your organization to stay in business. There is a price to pay for your family, for your purpose. If you don’t pay the price, people will suffer. It takes courage to lead and take risks. It takes courage to stand against all odds. It takes balls to keep on going all in when people doubt you. It takes courage to step onto the battlefield when you don’t know whether or not you’ll make it out alive.

The common denominator of successful leaders is knowing how to manage pressure. The difference between men who fold and men who succeed is knowing how to manage the pressure you feel on a daily basis. Very few men can understand what it takes to lead. That’s why they’d rather watch other people lead. They stay on the sidelines or make excuses. Most men will only dream about one day; it takes courage to stand up and say “I am going to lead. I will figure shit out.”

If you learn how to manage pressure, you’re ahead of the game. Pressure is part of being a leader, so if you expect it, you’re already a better leader than most men.

5 ways to manage pressure

1- Kill the story before it gets bigger
The mind is a meaning-making machine. It always creates stories to make meaning out of what happens. Your job is to kill the story before it gets out of control. When you feel pressure, you have to identify what the story is that you keep telling yourself. Is it the story that you’re not enough? Is it the story that you’re too old, or too late? What story do you tell yourself when you feel pressure? Tell yourself the truth to kill the story. Whatever it is that you think you don’t have enough of, the truth is that you do.

We tend to make things bigger than they are. That’s why you have to kill the story when it’s small because otherwise, you’ll create a bigger story. Kill the story that is draining your energy and increasing the pressure. Kill the story of doubt; kill the story of fear; kill the story of not having enough or not being enough. When you identify the stories that keep you from going to the next level, you can interrupt the patterns that make the story bigger than it is.

2- find perspective to release pressure
When shit happens in your life and you feel pressure, you have to find perspective. When you use contrast, you will feel better. Shit could always be worse. Look at your situation and instead of feeling sorry for yourself, ask yourself how could shit be worse. There is somebody out there right now praying to have the pressure you have instead of his own. When you have perspective, you realize that it’s not as bad as you think it is.

The contrast will release the pressure and you can find a solution, and instead, use that pressure to

3- Learn to love what is
This is a great framework to stabilize pressure. Good times don’t last forever. Bad times won’t last forever. Nothing lasts forever, so enjoy it when it’s good, and prepare for when it’s going to be bad. You have to enjoy the present moment, otherwise you will dwell in the past or be afraid of the future. Enjoy the present moment. But even if things aren’t going well, can you love what is?
Fall in love with the process, not the outcome. Can you fall in love with the grind? Who you become under pressure is more important than an easy outcome. When you love what is, it releases the pressure and you can become stronger. When you argue with reality, you add unnecessary pressure to yourself.

4- Appreciate how far you have come.
Don’t beat yourself down or feel guilt and shame about things you did/should’ve done. Become your own biggest raving fan. Constantly tell yourself how far you’ve come so you can tell yourself that every day, you’re getting better. You’re not the same man you were a year ago. You’re not even the same person you were a month ago. Give yourself the credit you deserve for how far you’ve come. Don’t expect others to appreciate you if you don’t appreciate yourself. People won’t see what you don’t see in yourself. If you want to appreciate the journey, you have to appreciate how far you’ve come.

You didn’t come this far to stay here. Life is a journey, enjoy the journey. Don’t stay comfortable. Look back for appreciation and look forward to inspiration. Where are you going? What’s the vision and the mission? When you realize that you’re here for a cause, you know who you are becoming. There is a bigger purpose for you. But you have to believe in yourself first. The pressure will lie and whisper in your ear that this is it; this is as far as you can go. The pressure will entice you to stay comfortable. Listen to the voice of expansion, not the voice of fear.

5- Remember why you are here.
This is the most important part of managing pressure. The pressure is there to expand your capacity. Why do you want to expand? Why is it a must to create an impact? You wanted this pressure. When you said you were ready to lead, that pressure is the answer to your prayer. This is how you lead. This is how to expand. This is what it means to be a leader: do the shit that most men are not willing to do. Go into the battlefield when most men are running away from the battle. Show up when most men are not willing to show up. Do the work when you don’t feel like it. Leadership is not convenient. It’s hard as fuck. But this is what you asked for.

Manage your pressure, don’t fold under pressure. When you fold under pressure, that’s giving up