Conversation starters for troubled marriages

After taking a week off so Raul could teach a boot camp, the GMS Podcast is back. In this episode, Raul and Vivian discuss how difficult it is for men to be vulnerable. As men, we have been conditioned to not ask for help, and to armor yourself in order to go into battle. But that armor becomes isolating, and ends up becoming a barrier to connecting with your partner, with your friends, and with God.

Men have a tendency of overcompensating for being a strong lion at work, by being a weak pussycat at home because they don’t know how to balance their own needs and their partner’s needs. Women also have a tendency to stay in a nurturing, mother energy, even in situations when it’s appropriate to bring out the temptress state and let loose. As a result, a relationship can get stale and an unspoken frustration seeps in. The best way to deal with this is to have clear conversations to set a strategy to meet an expressed (not tacitly understood) goal. Both partners have to take responsibility, but there is no upside in complaining or blaming.

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December 2, 2019August 23, 2021

GRATITUDE V.S. POSITIVITY

Gratitude v.s. Positivity

Gratitude is different from positivity. In this episode of the GMS Podcast, Raul and Vivian give their definition of what the difference is between positivity and gratitude. Gratitude is a part of your brain that needs to be exercised. You can do this by taking a moment every day to journal what you have and what you’re grateful for. Another way to do this is to volunteer and help other people who have less than you.

Positivity can mask a lot of emotions. It’s only on the outside, so you put on a brave face or you tell yourself that everything will work out later, but you aren’t doing the inner work that it takes to appreciate what you have. So positivity always runs out. The inner work starts when you focus on yourself what what you can change.

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November 7, 2019August 11, 2021

How to Handle Arguments in a Relationship

Why do men and women argue? Is it possible to have conflict but still have a good relationship? Do men and women really argue differently?

This podcast will answer all of those questions and more on this episode of God Money & Sex. Raul and Vivian Villacis discuss conflict in relationships as they break down in detail an argument from early on in their marriage. The argument, a miscommunication about what Vivian wanted from Raul when they were running late for a party, encapsulates everything that leaves men confused and women still angry long after the inciting incident has passed. They revisit the incident in in spirit knowing now what they have learned in their twenty years of marriage.

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November 4, 2019August 11, 2021

How SnapFitness Founder Peter Taunton Creates Energy

How to overcome a Victim Mentality | 5 Traps to avoid

Although there is a lot about this current crisis that is beyond your control, that doesn’t stop you from taking ownership of the things that you can control, because there is no upside to complaining. In fact, the victim mentality is one of the biggest ways you can sabotage your growth. Instead of letting other people’s victim mentality dictate your behavior, you need to stand strong and remain a leader.

Here are ways to avoid the victim mentality:

1- Comparing yourself to others
The moment you compare yourself to others, you lose. The only person you are competing with is you from yesterday.

2- Doubting your value.
Every time you second guess yourself, you lose certainty. Stop basing your value on what other people think.

3- Trying to please everyone
It’s impossible to please everyone. If you try, you’re only going to end up not pleasing yourself. When you bend for others you will blame them for the choices you made. That’s what happens when you start pleasing everyone else, you blame them when you’re unhappy with the results.

4- Letting your pride rob you from asking for help.
Don’t let your ego stop you from raising your hand and admitting you don’t have all the answers. Humility kills the victim mentality when you own your shit. The moment you think you’re going to do it all by yourself, you’re going to lose.

5 – Don’t be a savior unless you want to be crucified
Being a savior feels good, but eventually, you will become the victim when you don’t get the credit you think you deserve. You have to feed the King first. Instead of giving joy to others and draining yourself, fill yourself with joy until you are overflowing with it.

The victim mentality is as contagious and dangerous as any virus. Playing the victim card is easy. Leading and taking ownership is hard. The only way to find the solution is to take responsibility. There is zero upside to being a victim.

You were made for times like this. This is when you rise up and become the leader you were meant to be.

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October 23, 2019June 23, 2020

How Spartan Race Founder Joe Desena found his PURPOSE | Daily EDGE: Emotional intelligence Podcast

This week, it was my honor and privilege to have Joe Desana, the founder of the Spartan Race, as my first guest on the Raul Villacis Experience, a long-form companion podcast to The Daily Edge. Joe has been a best-selling author, a key note speaker, and of course the founder and organizer of the Spartan Race.

Joe grew up on what many of us would call “the wrong side of the tracks.” He essentially grew up as a background actor in a real-life mob movie. But his mother made sure he wouldn’t follow that path, and set him up for later success in life. Several times in life, he became successful, then risked everything he had to start over and pursue greatness. His interest in physical fitness and his desire to test his own toughness lead him to create the Spartan Death Race. In this interview, Joe tells me how and why he chose the life he has now.

Show Notes:

0:40 Intro

1:14 What is Joe’s story? / Origin story

6:15 Joe met a guy at Cornell…

8:32 Joe takes a big risk by taking a new job

11:2 2 Many of Joe’s friends ended up in jail, but Joe stayed straight

14:12 “Was I tough enough?”

10:06 When was the threshold?

21:27 Bird discussion

22:48 Joe talks about the transition from wall street to organizing races.

25:32 You can find your purpose. You can also find a new purpose as you grow

28:57 The tunnel

31:15 Money can fuel purpose until your purpose is profitable

32:34 You better figure it out…

34:42 Married bliss

36:54 What attitudes are necessary to succeed?

38:38 What is the next step?

Joe shows off his kettle bells and home gym

43:20 Joe promotes his favorite tea

44:44 When is the next race?

47:00 end

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October 17, 2019May 18, 2020

Is marriage hard for everyone?

What we've learned after 20 years of marriage

To set your mind at ease, I will tell you right now, that we are not going to be preaching about how you should love God, talk about getting rich, or go into graphic details about our sex life.

Instead, I want to explain what each of these words mean for us, which should give you an entry point into our show.

God, for us, means acknowledging that there is something out there beyond your understanding. It can be God, it can be the universe, it can be vibrations, energy, anything you want it to be. I’ve been in the same room with the Dalai Lama, I’ve meditated with monks and have been in church for years. It doesn’t matter what you believe in as long as you believe in SOMETHING GREATER than YOU.

GOD for me is PURPOSE and LOVE.

Money is the exchange of value you bring to the marketplace. It gives you the opportunity to create an IMPACT.

Being an entrepreneur is not easy. You have to motivate yourself, otherwise your business will fail. The money is the byproduct of success, but it rarely is a motivator.

And sex, for us, means connection. Like everything else in life, a good relationship doesn’t mean it’s easy, it means it’s worth it. We struggle all the time, but when we do, we always find the next level in our relationship. That connection gets deeper every day, but only if you work at it.

GOD, MONEY and SEX are what drives most of our ACTIONS.

Our intention in this podcast is to share our experiences so we can create and IMPACT through our mistakes and insights.

I hope you join us.

show notes:

0:50 Introductions
1:58: What is God?
3:09 What is money?
3:14 We entrepreneurs are here to create an impact. What is it like to be an entrepreneur?
5:20 Making money is meaningless if you don’t track your spending
5:44 The importance of teaching your children about money
6:35 What is the proper mindset for money?
8:15 The abundance mindset goes beyond money and into all areas of life.
9:30 Sex isn’t just sex; sex is a connection
10:30 Everything takes work! Marriage takes more work than you think.
12:33 Share your message. Your message matters, good and bad.
13:35 You are not promised tomorrow. Raul tells the story of the death of a friend.
15:22 When things go wrong at home, you bring it to your business. How can you avoid this?
17:05 What is the God Money & Sex Podcast all about?
18:35 Raul talks about social media
19:33 Raul and Vivian talk about their trip to Mexico, and how Raul had to adopt adapt & execute to face an unfamiliar situation
24:28 What is the definition of a marriage?
26:14 Audience question: “My wife and I have been married for 15 years. We’re going through a rough patch. Should I stay and put in the work to stay married or give up?”

Follow Vivian Villacis:

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connect with us:

We’d love to hear your feedback,
join our text community by sending a message to: (203) 405 – 9199